somehow i'm gonna find a way to keep my sanity

it’s been a long, long day

biochem is sh*t

and then there’s you

yes, YOU!

don’t worry, im trying to understand

im trying to figure out what’s happening

most of all, im trying to convince myself that i still am important to you

i didn’t do anything, i was honest with you

you always knew what i felt

you know what bothers me is the fact that i think i don’t know you anymore

are you trying to move away or are you trying to shove me off?

either way im gonna be hurt

i just want you to know that im hurt right now

and even if you say sorry, it won’t make me feel better

im not bitter, i just can’t imagine that of all people you are gonna do this to me

samtayms eye tink dat ebriting ay wahant das nat ko een sayd weed wat sambadi els wahants…

ip eye sei eye wahant to no yu mhore, eet mince eye wahant to bi samwan yu olso whahant…

gatit?

so eye wahant to bi yors…watyaganadu?

^______^

im tired, 

physically, emotionally, psychologically

i’ve been fighting off this feeling since the start of the week

and for some reasons, talking with you made me feel that i can be stronger despite what i feel

i can’t thank you enough for listening, more so for sharing your insights

God bless you (i believe that you are an angel sent to make my life lighter at the moment)

people like you are rewarded with great things

i hope and pray that you stay happy all the time

may God give you your hearts desire and may He bless you with more friends to strengthen and touch…

thanks batman!

maniniwala kba kung sasabihin kong di ko sinasadya?

maniniwala kba pg cnabi kong di ko alam kung pano ako mg rereact?

maniniwala kba kpag cnbi kong ikaw ang dahilan ng pag ngiti ko?

maniniwala kba kpag cnbi kong di ko lng alam kung pano ako mgsasalita?

maniniwala kba?

sorry na…

di bale ng abutin ako ng buong gabi na para isulat lahat ng gsto ko gagawin ko mawala lang tong pakiramdam na to

di bale ng di ako mkapag aral makalimutan ko lang ang mga gumugulo sa isip ko

kelangan ko ng katahimikan, kelangan ko ng kaayusan

kelangan ko ng maayos na pg iisip

at higit sa lahat, kelangan kong makalimot

mg susulat ako buong gabi kung yun ang kelangan upang mkalimot ako

mgsusulat ako buong gabi para gumaan ang pakiramdam ko

mg susulat ako para mwala ang lungkot ko

tama na tigilan mo na ako

ayaw na kitang isipin

all i want to do right now is eat and sleep and forget about you

i want to go home and cuddle with my mom

i want to read my HP books

i want to go back to high school

i want to regress to get you out of my mind

so please chelsea regress if you want

and i hope it would solve your problems

i’d write and write and write

i’d never stop writing until my brain tells me to stop

i’m trying to keep my sanity

i’m trying to heal…

i’d like to write to stop myself from inflicting greater pain on myself

i’d write to relieve my mind of the unending questions i have

i’d like to pour all the contents of my heart on this page

i’d like to create a symphony of words, create a song of melancholy

i want to lose myself in the process of writing 

hoping that at one point, the words i write would patch every single morsel of what’s left of my shattered heart

sadness floats like a boat on the sea

it drifts from person to person,

place to place

wondering where to stop

and when it sees a likely victim, 

someone hurt,

someone weak,

someone frustrated

it anchors itself to the persons heart

tears up his soul

and devours his whole being

sadness covers up all the good things the person has

it leaves the victim a little bit insane,

disoriented

and seemingly lifeless

and when everything seems hopeless

sadness floats again like a boat in the sea

to find another victim

oh yes sadness floats,

and it has floated to ME

i don’t think you’re worth crying over

but i also don’t think that i could let go that easy

i want to be with you

i want you to know that i care

i want to tell you what you mean to me

and yet i can’t

and yet i think i wouldn’t have the  chance to tell you 

i want to talk to you, speak to you

i want to tell you what i feel

i want to reach for you

infatuation, please end here

mahina…

yan ako ngaun…

mahina at lalong nanghihina…

san ako huhugot ng lakas?

ano pang lakas ang huhugutin ko?

andito ako, anjan ka…

anjan ka lang…

wala akong magawa kundi tumingin at mghintay…

kelan ba mtatapos to?

mahina at lalong nanghihina…

mahina…